In all my years of adult life I now look back and wonder if I really ever knew what love really was. I know I have cried over the loss of a good life. I know I have cried when my children left home. I know I have cried over a feeling of being alone and lonely. I have cried from many hurtfully things. But the question is, in my past have I truly ever been in love?
I know I have said I love, but is it love or is it what is expected of me to say what I am told that I am loved. I watch old movies of romance and love and long to feel the way they do in the movies. So does this mean that I am not in love?
I know I have a mothers love for my children, and I know I have a daughters love for my mother, but what of that special love. The love that makes people feel … Feel like what? That is where I fail and where I start to wonder.
I know he loves me, I know I cried when I thought he was gone, I know I would miss him dearly if he was to go away now. I know I like it when he is with me, but I like my time alone as well at times, I know I do not want another, but is that love and is that enough?
Being a companion is a sort of love, getting along wonderfully is a sort of love, but it is not being in love. Being in love seems as if there is a longing or at least it seems that way in the movies, is that real? I am told movie love is not real, so then what is real love. Is it perhaps that love is just something that holds you together over time?
I have told him I do not want to get married just yet, and I could find many reasons why not if I look hard enough, but I truly think the main reason is I am scared to once again commit and find that love was just a dream like it was in my past.
He says he is waiting until he is sure he will get a positive response. Does this mean he is not so sure himself? And is that sure of me or himself? And if he thinks I love him why has he never really asked and only ever talked about it as if it would never happen and give reasons why it would could happen now. It is like he wants to in his mind or a dream, but his reality stops him. Is he scared like me?
If you are looking to me to find answers, then look no further, because do I really know love?
Poem Style – No Sytle Format / Poem Catagory – Love
Written by Lady Kathleen
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